welcome in! i’m cleo, you café-hopping connoisseur. i’ve always had a passion for coffee--my dad practically raised me on italian espresso, and as an adult i’ve worked as a barista at a very fancy-schmancy coffee and tea bar. as a sleep deprived university student, i spend a lot of my time studying in cafés. this is all to say that recently i decided i wanted to embark on a noble coffee side-quest to visit as many cafés as i possibly can within the year. and thus, THE CAFÉ was born!

here you’ll find all of my reviews, sorted by location. each café will be scored out of five coffee cups (☕) in five different categories: atmosphere, affordability, menu, customer service, and (most importantly) coffee! those scores will then be tallied up to give the café an overall ranking. there are, from best to worst…

damn fine!
this café gets a double thumbs up and dale cooper’s seal of approval! our five-cup rating is reserved for the very best of the best. damn fine! ratings are far and few between, but when they do arise, you can rest assured that they have my full endorsement.

java jive
this is a perfectly solid café. go here for a nice sunday out with friends or

tim hortons
this is your average run-of-the-mill coffee shop. it’s certainly not bad, but it doesn’t stand out either. this tier is also home to otherwise great cafés that have a singular glaring issue that can’t be overlooked.

hint of bean

hot water...